My Solitude

My solitude...

in my solitude, nobody hurts or cries.

nobody cheats and nobody lies.

it is here i am nobody else but me

its easier to feel whole here; feel free.

i have my own place now.

on the outside people can be so mean, can be so crude

keeping me safe from it all is my solitude

i used to not be here, never felt the need

but now i am tainted and scarred.

so here i am.

nobody can hurt me in my own little place

but sometimes its dark here though, a vacant cold space.

but it is my solitude, not yours, never will

so throw out your memories and leave me be still.

you cant get me, i wont let you, not here.

this is my place to come to be free from my pain

without anger or fear.

you are the reason i am in this place you know

i had nowhere else to turn, nowhere to go.

i hate you for sending me here all alone,

cant you see im here all alone?

but this place is my own, my new little home.

im here a lot less now, although im still here.

maybe one day i wont need this place, maybe not at all

but if i ever need it, if i ever fall

if i ever get bruised,

change my colors,

or mood

all along i will have my safe place,

my solitude.

Reading Material

Seen on the walls of the men's bathroom at Node:

"The boy you love is the man you fear."

"When you leave, it's like the seasons change.
And I cry.
Because I have seasonal depression."

[scrawled perfectly at eye level]
"What are you looking at? The joke's in your hand."

"I wasn't here" (written over emphatically by) "OH, YES YOU WERE!!"

Need coffee with a sense of humor? I heartily suggest The Node.

Kiss Lonely Goodbye

I've had about enough of this silence
Of holidays and lullabyes for one.
Tending my own bar, in my own room,
with cliche poetry sounding like prose
And where are you again?

Faces forgotten, no more sleep
as we sleep apart and again.
Clocks are friends
until they measure out the aches in hours.
And didn't you say you'd stay?

I remember you're last call
a lover's goodbye,
turned to cruel song.
For now, its last call
for alcohol, last call
for good.
For goodbyes.